What to Say to Someone Who Has Family in Hospice

Most of us strive to be supportive, but when a friend or family member is grieving, it can be difficult to know how to respond. Interacting with someone who has family in hospice requires special care, but with the right advice, you can offer a listening ear and the promise of continued support. While there’s no perfect script, empathetic words and thoughtful actions can make a world of difference to someone facing such a challenging time. At Agape Hospice NW, we’re honored to serve so many families in Portland, OR, with compassionate hospice care. Here are our recommendations for what to say to loved ones with family in hospice.

Tips for How to Talk to Someone With Family in Hospice

Whenever you speak to someone with family in hospice, you want to approach the conversation sensitively. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach, but these tips can help you offer hospice emotional support:

Listen Actively

Often, people just need someone to listen to them without interruptions or judgments. Resist the urge to offer advice unless they specifically ask for it. Simply being present and attentive can show that you care.

Acknowledge Their Pain

This can be as simple as saying, “I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you.” Recognizing and validating your loved ones’ feelings assures them that you understand the challenges they’re going through.

Avoid Clichés

Phrases like “Everything happens for a reason” or “They’re in a better place” can feel dismissive, even if well-intentioned. Focus on acknowledging their pain honestly without leaning on overused sayings.

Offer Support at Their Pace

Everyone copes differently. Some may want to share their feelings openly, while others might prefer lighter conversation. Pay attention to their cues and adjust your approach when offering emotional support.

Understand the Grieving Process

Your loved one’s grieving process may be different from your own, and you’ll need to be respectful of their unique method. Even if their way of grieving doesn’t align with your own, let them know you’re here to lend a hand when necessary.

Be Genuine

People can sense when words are insincere. Speak from your heart, even if that means admitting you don’t know what to say. Honesty often carries more weight than polished phrases.

Check in Occasionally

Don’t forget about your friend or family member once your conversation ends. Continue to reach out and see how they’re doing, even if it’s just a quick text or phone call.

Compassionate Phrases to Use

When you do speak, choosing thoughtful and empathetic words is essential. Here are some phrases you can adapt when you’re providing grief support for hospice care:

“I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”
- This phrase directly acknowledges your loved one’s grief without overstepping.
“I’m here for you if you ever need to talk.”
- This open-ended offer reassures them they have someone to lean on but doesn’t pressure them to talk immediately.
“This must be incredibly hard for you. How can I help?”
- Using this phrase shows you understand they’re grieving while offering practical support at their own pace.
“I can’t imagine what this feels like, but I want you to know I care.”
- Honesty is the best policy. Combining your genuine feelings with compassion can be deeply comforting.
“Your love and care make such a difference to them.”
- Reminding them of the impact they have on their loved one in hospice can provide more support than you think.
“It’s okay to feel however you’re feeling right now.”
- Validating your loved one’s emotions is key. Letting them know their feelings are okay can help them feel less alone in their grief.

Phrases to Avoid When Offering Emotional Support

Even with the best intentions, certain phrases can come across as hurtful, dismissive, or inappropriate. Our team suggests avoiding these phrases when visiting family in hospice:

“I know exactly how you feel.”
“At least they lived a long life.”
“Don’t be sad; they wouldn’t want you to feel this way.”
“You’ll get over this eventually.”
“Be strong for your family.”

Offering Practical Help Beyond Words

Words are powerful, but actions often speak louder. Offering practical help shows that you care in tangible ways. While not everyone with family in the hospice wants this kind of help, it doesn’t hurt to offer to:

Prepare a meal or drop off groceries
Run errands
Assist with childcare
Provide transportation

Dealing With Your Own Emotions While Supporting Others

Providing hospice emotional support is admirable, but you also must look after yourself. It’s okay to acknowledge your own emotions and practice self-care so you can remain a source of strength for your loved ones. Here are a few ways to cope with your feelings while serving others:

Get Talking—Don’t bottle your emotions up. Talk to a trusted friend or family member about how the situation is affecting you.
Take Breaks—It’s okay to take time for yourself. Maintaining boundaries allows you to support others without burning out.
See a Professional—Professional counseling is a great way to process your emotions in a safe environment.

Make a Big Impact with Small Gestures

Even a few words of support can help someone deal with a challenging chapter in their lives. When speaking to someone with family in hospice, being sensitive and compassionate is crucial. With these tips from Agape Hospice NW, you can ensure your conversation is comforting without becoming dismissive. Our Portland, OR team is here for you as you navigate hospice emotional support and say goodbye to a loved one. Contact us to learn more about the best ways to approach hospice care.